This past weekend I hosted a one day teaching in San Diego, California with one of my best friends and spiritual running buddies. We rented a venue right on the bay, overlooking the water. The sun glistened on the ripples, sending reflections of light dancing along the walls of the room where we would be teaching on finding and amplifying your authentic truth.
The day was gorgeous, the event was a success, and many lives were touched and changed. The day before, however, I was cranky, irritable, exhausted and feeling sick.
I had had so much to do to get ready for the event and scheduling wasn’t always working out the way that I wanted it to. I was burning my candle from both ends and feeling the physical repercussions of that. I was going to bed late and waking up early. I was traveling and not eating as healthy as I’d like to. And, as a result and culmination, I was feeling insecure and lackluster. “Who am I to teach someone about finding their authentic self when I’m feeling so crappy?”, “Do I even know what I’m going to say?”
Despite my roughly outlining a presentation (in my head) and my speech in my mind’s eye, playing over and over; at the last minute my mind was blank. I couldn’t remember anything I’d planned to talk about and it was making me downright mean!
The day of the event I felt calm and confident as I took the stage but I still didn’t remember anything that I had planned to say. My mind was still empty.
As I gripped the microphone and stepped in front of the crowd I suddenly felt an inspiration flood my body and words began to pour out of me with ease and grace.
As I looked back on the course of events later that night, I asked myself what had caused the emotional rollercoaster and memory loss. I realized that everything had happened as it was supposed to. I was teaching on ‘authentic truth’ yet I was trying to over plan and over produce the entire situation in my head. I was planning everything down to the finest detail. What I had to learn, however, was that I didn’t need the pomp and circumstance I was building up in my imagination. At that precise moment of teaching, when I had no idea what I was going to say, all of my truth spilled out of my mouth and into the ears of everyone in attendance. It was a truly magical and authentic experience that was unadulterated by planning because I was truly being myself and everyone could relate and learn far more because they resonated with the words I was saying and the way I was saying them.
I ended up teaching a lot of things during that one day event, but I also learned a huge lesson that day. All I ever need to be is who I really am. I don’t need to try to prove myself through knowing ‘all of the things’ or by using just the right words. All I have to do is show up with a willingness to serve and to be myself.
In your own life this week, how can you show up with a willingness to serve in your authentic truth? Maybe it’s showing up with an earnest intent to listen to a friend who is needing to feel heard and validated. Maybe it’s extending a compassionate hand to someone who is in need of forgiveness. Maybe it’s showing up after your little one’s team has lost the big game with some words to encourage them to continue to do the best they can do.
Whatever situation you’re headed into this week I want to remind you that you’re enough, and all you need to do is show up and be yourself.