When we really desire a certain outcome, we cling to the idea of how we think it should work out in our mind. We cling so tightly to the idea of what we want, that we leave no wiggle room for any other possible outcome; and, when things don’t pan out exactly as we want them to, we can become disappointed, depressed, dejected, or down right angry. When other people are added to the mix, with their ideas and outcomes that they are clinging to, just as passionately as we are attached to our own outcomes, things can get pretty ugly really quickly! And when we add in a whole family of clingers we up the chances for discord exponentially. This is what can, very easily, happen during the holidays as we all gather together and mingle our energy and ideas with everyone else’s!
The holidays are my absolute favorite time of year, and so, I definitely hold ideals and expectations of how I think things should go and how I want things to happen, but there is a way to step into our holiday events without such rigidity in our expectations so that we can essentially set ourselves up for fun and joy. What approach could we take that would create a less stressful and happier ending for us during the holidays?
Firstly, by all means, be clear on how you’d like things to play out. Set intentions for joy, and fun, and everyone getting along and having the best time together. Set your hopes high for the meal preparations, and planning, and gathering to together very smoothly with ease and grace. Make feeling good and having fun a high priority; and then,let go of the attachment to your idea of HOW that should look, and move forward into your day, trusting that all will play out in the best possible way for everyone.
Have you ever looked back on a time and thought to yourself, “Man, that worked out way better than I had even imagined it would!”?
When we open ourselves up to the creative possibilities of even a better way than our own ideals then we can really be present to the gifts that unfold before us in our life experiences. When we let go of our attachments to how we think things MUST be done, we are open to the blessings that can miraculously unfold before us without our micromanagement.
What stresses can you let go of during this time of year by trying to control all of your outcomes?